


i come alive when i see you revive (the reverse shadowplay remix)

by amyfortuna



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:29:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/pseuds/amyfortuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>You fall. He follows after. </i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>He saves you, and you feel his footsteps leading you onward.</i>
</p>
<p> <br/><i>What can you do but follow him?</i></p>
<p> <br/>Steve, tracking Bucky down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i come alive when i see you revive (the reverse shadowplay remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biggrstaffbunch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biggrstaffbunch/gifts).
  * Inspired by [i revive, see it when i come alive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1431175) by [biggrstaffbunch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biggrstaffbunch/pseuds/biggrstaffbunch). 



He is cold when you hold him against you, and he clings in ways the Bucky you remember never did. But you're right with him, curled around him, and that will never change. 

It is enough.

|

You follow him through the dark streets, follow each twitch of his head as he looks from lost drugstore to ruined movie hall to the replaced storefronts of the place you used to get burgers and where you remember Bucky taking you to get your hair cut the night before your double date to the Stark Expo that turned into a date with destiny in the form of Doctor Erskine. 

He stands where you stood when the passage of time really hit you. The apartment blocks have changed in the last seventy years, but you can still see the lines and contours of the original building beneath them. So can he, of course. 

And you know he's finally ready. This is where you lived, it is clearly the same place, but it's also clearly so different that the years in between can't be denied. He needs you now. 

You step forward, blinking, just behind him. It's been raining for hours and you are cold and wet, but he is here, and the warmth that spills through you at the sight of him cannot be held back. 

"How am I supposed to find myself if there's nothing left to find?" he says, and you can't stop yourself from reaching out. It's not that you have a death wish, it's just that you love him more than life itself. You rub a thumb over the red star on his arm, squeeze the shoulder gently, where the metal meets flesh. 

"There's plenty left to find," you say and the low intimacy in your voice almost shocking yourself, "Bucky..."

He doesn't let you continue, pulling away from your touch, almost vicious. "I'm not him," he snaps. 

The name hardly matters. You don't think this one will work, but, "Winter Soldier," you go on, and stop when he shakes his head. 

"I was asleep for so long," he says, voice shaking, "I finally woke up and the only thing I know - " His voice cuts off with a sob. He looks at you, really looks up at you for a moment, and then falls to his knees. 

"Steve," he whispers. "The only thing I know is you."

You can't help but move closer, crouch down, brush a hand against his wet hair. "I know you too" you whisper, "Like the goddamned heart of me." 

You draw him close, press your damp forehead to his, look into his eyes.

His name, when you say it, is like a benediction, like you're naming him all anew. "Bucky," you say, your breath mingling with his. "Come home."

And he does. 

|

Brooklyn echoes with memories, and your chest aches with the fullness of them. Bucky is in nearly all of them, tying them together, making them flow. Everything converges on him. 

Bucky, and his smile and the set of his shoulders, the sparkle in his eyes. Bucky, and the muscles of him, the protective strength. Bucky, and the good inside him. Bucky, and the light in your heart when he was with you, the keening desire, the vivid satisfaction of living with, and being protected by and...and wanting. 

"You've known me your whole life," you remember telling him, inside an exploding Helicarrier. 

You have to be right. He has to know you, because you know him. 

That must be a way to start. 

|

There is an apartment building off Lefferts Avenue. You've been following him for weeks, and this is the first time he says a word. 

It is "Steve."

|

HYDRA is gone but not dead. Soon, you might need to turn away. There might be a greater threat than the Winter Soldier to take your attention. You hope, desperately, that there won't be. You can't afford to lose what you've gained. All you can do is follow. 

You end up in New York City. 

In the end, Bucky wasn't hard to find. He went to home ground, wandering the changed streets of Brooklyn like you always knew he would. You knew where he went because he did what you would do - what you did do, those first few days after the ice. 

This is where your life - and his - began. 

You watch from a distance as he sleeps, and the stars wheel overhead. His face is peaceful and your heart twists as you remember that this is how he used to look when he slept, a lifetime ago. 

|

(Is he man or machine or monster?

It doesn't matter. Even if he was all three, he would be - always and forever - yours.)

|

You dream of being choked by him, the metal arm moving like lightning in the dark. All you can do is yield to its grip, so you do, almost at peace with this. You can feel the smile spreading across your face. You choke out one word before the darkness drags you under. 

"Bucky--!"

|

You dream of singing to him while you paint him. He lies on the bed, chest bare, a beam of light striking him like a halo. You can't help but smile. He is the sun. If you kissed him you would burn. 

You would love to kiss him. You would say "Bucky--", choked-off permission and declaration all in one, and then your mouth would cover his, and you would drown in him. 

|

You are starting to wonder how long ago you started looking for Bucky. 

|

You remember everything, perfectly, almost as if you could transport yourself back in time. You see them. You feel them. And you're still trying to make sense of them. 

A boy with brown hair, always ready with a joke and a laugh. A man wearing a uniform, carrying a sniper rifle. A back alley, and a bold rescuer. A burning HYDRA base and walking through Austria, checking him all the way. This time you're the bold rescuer, but nevertheless it's true: you're still with him - and he with you - 'til the end of the line. 

|

You are Steve Rogers. Captain America. You lived once, very long ago. Then you fell, and everything went dark. Sometimes you remember the impact of ice and rock, cold settling into your bones, robbing you of breath. 

More often, you remember people. Peggy Carter and the dance that would never happen. Bucky Barnes, and the howling scream inside you of losing him. You're still trying to tie the threads together, to make a new life out of the old one. 

You are Steve Rogers, and you are learning what you might become.


End file.
